My grandmother, in some narrations, used to say of a certain woman,
“ghi mu pfu tong”—she died from the navel. This saying was always a puzzle to my childlike mind, and I would ask her over and over what kind of illness “tong” was. But she, being unable to explain it better to a little girl of about nine—with limited vocabulary and a fairy tale view of life—would merely repeat with emphasis, “ghi mu pfu tong eh.”
Mama, I now understand what you meant. You simply meant: She died from the pain of bitterness. Probably a bitterness that degenerated into depression.
All human beings face challenges from day to day, and these come in varying dimensions, shapes, forms, and colours. They are an integral aspect of life.
Jacob’s Ladder Rescue joins the host of organizations whose mission is to see the livelihood and welfare of women improved. This extreme bitterness in women is often associated with psychological violence, usually linked to Gender-Based Violence (GBV). From Grandma’s narratives, this bitterness often stemmed from marital challenges—maltreatment, neglect, battery, favouritism, abandonment in polygamous settings, and more.
Psychological violence can be minimized—or better still, completely eliminated—but this is only possible if men/boys and women/girls work hand in hand, develop a better understanding of the circumstances that lead to Gender-Based Violence, and are willing to contribute to its eradication.
Gender-Based Violence is any form of harm or violence inflicted on someone based on their gender. Both men and women experience GBV, but the majority of victims are women and girls.
Gender-Based Violence is intricately complex because it involves cultural and belief systems, ignorance, societal norms (mores), the absence of human rights awareness, and other predisposing circumstances that allow it to persist.
May we consider the role of education in the elimination of Gender-Based Violence in our communities—education that deters perpetrators and also reduces the vulnerability of those most exposed to it.
The laws that exist in our governance systems ought to be implemented, with the sanctions provided being adequately enforced.